Lesson 1: Communication Skills

Communication Skills

Mastering communication skills can help you in your customer service role and make your job easier. Effective communicators have fewer problem clients, spend less time fixing problems, and enjoy their work more.

In this lesson, you’ll develop skills that help you become a better communicator. You’ll start by defining communication. Then, you’ll learn how to develop empathy, manage your body language, and ask good questions.

Empathy

The Importance of Empathy

We can do a lot to keep problems from happening in the first place. If you develop your empathizing skills, you can put yourself in the other person’s shoes. This doesn’t mean that you do not have to agree with them, but it helps you see where they are coming from. 

If you are practicing being empathetic (and we recommend that you do) you should avoid phrases like, “I agree” or, “Yes, that’s true.” Don’t reinforce a concern, either. You can simply express your empathy by rephrasing the key topic of the person’s statement. Some phrases you might use include:

• “I hear…”
• “I understand…”
• “I think you’re saying…”

Rephrasing before answering gives you:

• A chance to empathize with the concerns
• An opportunity to show the person that you understand the concern
• A moment to think of an appropriate response

It’s also important to check that the other person is satisfied with your level of understanding or your explanation. Your ability to empathize will play an important role in your overall communication skills and your ability to foster a positive and productive environment.

Dangerous Misconceptions

Although we believe that we are being clear when we speak, we’re not always being as efficient as we think. Here are some important misconceptions for you to keep in mind when you are having a conversation:

• People always pay attention when you are speaking to them.
• When people say they are paying attention, they really are.
• When someone says “I know,” they really do.
• Saying something over and over will ensure that your listener understands.

Defining Communication

What is communication? It is more than just sending and receiving messages; it is about understanding those messages. There are lots of things that can get in the way of understanding a message, such as:

• Noise
• Language
• Culture
• Disinterest
• Experience
• Education
• Emotion
• Vocabulary
• Mood
• Here are two tips for removing those barriers.

Empathy: Make a conscious decision to try to understand. We often talk about empathy as taking off your own shoes to walk in someone else’s. This helps you to understand where they are coming from and to set aside your judgments or biases in order to give your full attention to the other person.

Rephrasing/reframing: This technique gives you a chance to think of your response, and it also allows you to demonstrate that you understand while putting it into words that you can relate to.

Remember the saying: “We have two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we talk.”

Body Language Basics

Much of our face-to-face communication is through body language. While we deliver a message through words, we are also emphasizing, confirming, or even negating what we say through our tone of voice and our non-verbal body language.

Facial Expression

This needs to be pleasant, or at least neutral. The face should be relaxed instead of tense to convey that you are comfortable with your role.

Smiling

Smiles are always welcome and help people to relax. When we are tense, however, our smiles can look like grimaces. Practice smiling in a mirror and get comfortable with offering more smiles. This shows that you like what you are doing.

Eye Contact

When you speak with people, your eye contact needs to be steady and confident. Don’t stare people down, but do look at them. While there are cultural aspects to eye contact, it’s our position that you need to look at people so that they see you are being genuine and honest. Also, if you are nervous you will tend to blink more frequently which can make it look like you have something to hide. Try to relax so that you blink at a more normal rate.

Overall Message

This needs to be welcoming, confident, and comfortable. Even if we are incredibly busy, our body language should show that we are interested and focused on this conversation with this person at this time. Leaning into the conversation, avoiding distractions such as phone calls or people at the door, controlling nervousness, all convey positive messages through our body language.

Voice

Your attitude is projected through your voice as well as your body language. Make sure your body language always says, “I’m here to help as best I can.”

When your voice is annoyed, impatient, or condescending, the other person may become angered or angrier. Speak with a calm, firm, caring, soothing tone. Your communications will be more relaxed, more pleasant, and better understood.

The speed and rhythm of your speech is important as well. Clear communication includes appropriate pauses and inflections to support the words being said.

Here are some tips:

• As people talk to you, say to yourself: “Which means that…”
• Be clear in your own mind what you hope to achieve.
• In sales or when dealing with problems, take the lead in conversations wherever possible. This gives you the psychological advantage, putting you in a stronger position to direct the conversation along lines that are favorable to you.
• Check your understanding with your six helpers: why, what, where, when, who, and how.
• Talk less than you listen.
• Try silence.