Lesson 1: Dealing with Difficult Customers
CollegED July 28, 2025
Introduction : Dealing With Difficult Customers
No matter how well we prepare, and no matter how much respect we have for our customers, sometimes we are going to have to manage difficult situations. As customers become even more demanding, having effective response skills is essential.
In this lesson, you’ll receive some tips to help you the next time you have a difficult customer to deal with.
Dealing with Difficult Customers
| Description | What They Do | What We Do |
| Abrupt | Speak quicklySnap orders | Listen to what they have to sayBe service orientedFocus on what you can do to help themSpeak quietly and be firm |
| Abusive | Launch personal attacks on your ethnic background, age, gender, position, etc.May use profanity | Be quickRefuse to justify yourselfStay calm and defuse angerIf abuse escalates, get your manager involvedRecord the events |
| Angry | Demand immediate actionOften use a loud tone of voice | Listen closely to the problemApologizeAsk open ended questionsStay calm and don’t take it personallyRemain courteousPropose an action plan – then do it! |
| Arrogant | Exhibit a superior attitudeLike to remind you of your place | Know your job and do it wellKnow your products and servicesBe professional and courteous |
| Bully/Bossy | Put you on the spotEnjoy baiting or teasing youMay insult your products and services | Be firmStick to businessAsk closed questions to redirect the attackBe professional and courteous |
| Closed-Minded | Put up barriers to understandingDisplay a ‘prove it to me’ attitudeOften a hidden agenda | ListenAsk questions to probe for hidden reasonsAcknowledge and empathize with their concerns |
Dealing With Challenges Assertively
Without question, people can be difficult. Sometimes, when we are faced with a demanding customer, we can also become difficult. You must make sure that you set your biases and personal feelings aside so that you can deal with customers in the most effective way possible.
In this lesson, you’ll practice assertively managing difficult customers, so that you can best meet the needs of your customers and your company.
An Assertiveness Model
One difficulty we can face in our customer interactions is the need to act assertively. Being assertive is not natural for some people. It can cause anxiety for the person responsible for customer service. However, sometimes customer demands really are outrageous or cannot be met. Sometimes they are rude and we must intervene assertively in order to resume a sense of calm and professionalism, either in the workplace or over the telephone.
Speaking assertively doesn’t mean being aggressive, angry, or disrespectful. Assertive behavior means standing up for your personal rights, and acting in direct, honest, and appropriate ways that express your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs without violating others’ rights.
There is an assertiveness formula that can help when we aren’t sure how to tell others how we think or feel and how we would like them to behave. There are several variations to this formula, and the formula doesn’t work in all situations, but it can be useful. When using the model, you will frame your conversation in the following way:
- When you (specific behavior)
- I feel (specific feelings)
- I would appreciate it if you (suggested change of behavior)
Example: “When you come into our restaurant and yell at me to get you a good seat, I feel like you expect me to ignore the lineup that is here in front of you, and I feel embarrassed. I’d like you to acknowledge me, say good morning, and then wait your turn like everyone else.”
Think of situations where you could use this formula. Practice the wording to yourself, and then try it out in a fairly non-stressful situation and see how it works. Like most things, it gets easier with practice, and feels more natural with time.
You don’t have to act assertively in every situation, and this formula isn’t the only way to deal with difficult or stressful situations. For example, most of us hate being criticized, but rather than become defensive, or react assertively, allow the criticism to prick your curiosity. Ask questions like, “Why do you feel that way?” or, “What exactly do you mean when you say I’m not playing fair?”